How to Write Affirmations
(That Actually Work.)
Affirmations always felt like total B.S., until they actually started to work for me.
Now, they’re one of the essential manifesting tools I use to help people design their dream life.
As someone who used to struggle with depression and anxiety, I was at the mercy of whatever my emotions threw at me that day - or so I thought.
On what would have been have a normally unmemorable afternoon - I decided to try something different.
As I was taking my dog out for a walk, sulking, and feeling sorry for myself:
I realized that the cause of this horrible mood of mine was none other than my own thoughts. Simply negative “stories” I had been playing to myself on repeat.
HOW TO WRITE AFFIRMATIONS
(THAT DON’T FEEL FAKE AF.)
I say “stories” because although they may FEEL real in the moment, that’s all they are. Not facts.
I was walking my dog - that’s a fact.
I feel sad - that was a fact.
I feel behind in life…. ok, prove it?
I feel like a loser… why?
That’s where things started to get murky.
Sure, I could come up with a laundry list of reasons of why I felt like a loser and felt behind in life… but I realized there wasn’t any evidence to back it up. Everything answer I came up with could be refuted.
Talk back to the negative voice.
When it piped up with some self-deprecating statement, I started to say: “So what!”
“You’ll never live up to your potential!” … So what?
“You’re doomed to live a mediocre life!”… So what?
“You’re a disappointment to yourself!’”… So what?
Create new stories you actually believe.
Then, I started to tell myself new stories. I figured if my brain was going to keep making up stories, why not at least make them good ones?
It felt SUPER weird; at first. It felt like I was lying to myself a bit. I felt like an egotistical asshole.
But why? Why did I feel SO GUILTY for speaking nicely to myself?
Because we’re taught to play small. To shrink, to dim ourselves to try and fit in.
We’re taught that being confident = being an arrogant ass.
And that’s just not the case!
When you downplay your passion, your gifts, your mission in life - everyone suffers.
Life is short and people spend way too much time doing jobs they don’t like to impress people they don’t care about… you NEED to live your truth because it will inspire others around you to do the same.
WHY MOST AFFIRMATIONS FAIL.
The “ I AM” Trap.
When I first started saying affirmations to myself - they felt SO fake. The reason?
I was using “ I AM " statements, right from the jump. When you go straight to “I AM” before your self concept/self image have caught up… you’re going to be met with resistance.
You don’t see yourself that way - yet.
So what should you do instead?
Use “Bridging” Statements Your Brain Can Accept.
WTF is a “bridging statement”? Rather than jumping straight to “I AM”, you can ease yourself into the feeling state with phrases like:
“I’M STARTING TO BELIEVE” or “IT’S BECOMING NATURAL FOR ME TO…”
Phrasing it this way helps your brain bridge the gap between how you see yourself now and where you want to go.
They’re easier to digest when you first begin.
I used this same approach when I was manifesting my dream apartment — proof that affirmations work best when they’re believable.”
HOW TO WRITE AFFIRMATIONS THAT STICK.
Write out your current story first.
Before you can rewrite your current reality, you need to become aware of the current story you’re telling. Otherwise you’re creating a roadmap to nowhere. No end goal, no destination in mind = recipe for failure.
When you write out your current story look for any repeating patterns or places where you say “ I always” or “I never.”
Focus on one area at a time.
You might be tempted to do an entire life overhaul but that’s not a good use of your energy. Think about a beam of light— when the direction is hyper focused (like a flashlight) it’s much more powerful vs a lantern where the energy is more spread out.
Record them in your own voice.
I like to us the app ThinkUp, they have a free version where you can add music and set a timer. That way, if you want to listen to them before bed, your phone isn’t running all night.
Use an App to stay organized.
As you expand your affirmation practice, you may want to create categories based on topic. One playlist for love, money etc. I recommend ThinkUp again here as well.
Be patient with the process.
Your negative thought loops have been playing on repeat in your brain for years or even decades! It’s going to take time to reprogram yourself for positivity, so be patient with yourself. ❤️
EXAMPLE AFFIRMATIONS YOU CAN STEAL.
Confidence
Before: I’ll never be confident speaking up.
Rewrite: I’m starting to believe my voice deserves to be heard.
Self-Worth
Before: Nobody ever chooses me.
Rewrite: It’s becoming normal for me to be valued and prioritized.
Money
Before: I’ll always struggle with money.
Rewrite: Financial stability is becoming a natural occurrence in my life.
Relationships
Before: I’m too much / I’ll push people away.
Rewrite: It’s becoming normal for me to be fully myself and still deeply loved.
Growth
Before: I always fall back into old patterns.
Rewrite: It’s becoming natural for me to choose differently, one step at a time.
READY TO REWRITE YOUR STORY? (FOR REAL THIS TIME.)
You don’t need more “perfect” affirmations.
You need to start catching the old story and writing a new one — one you actually believe.
Together, we’ll strip down the thoughts keeping you stuck and rebuild them into beliefs that move your life forward.
