The Problem with Your “Higher Self” (that no one talks about.)
What “ideal version” lives in your head? And how close are you to actually achieving it?
Chances are, you have a crystal clear vision of WHO you want to be … you just have no idea HOW to get there.
Hello, that was me for a long time too! (So, you’re not alone in that.)
The problem is that our “Higher Self” is an idealized version of ourselves, not rooted in reality. It’s the ultimate potential of everything we can and “should” be in this lifetime.
It keeps us chasing an unattainable ideal where the goal post just. keeps. moving! Ugh.
But, I have a solution to help you fix it and learn to live in peace with your future self without being chained to it.
If you want to master your mindset, it starts by dropping the fantasy version of you and working with the one right here, right now.
✨ Want to feel grounded in who you are (without chasing some perfect version of you)?
Problem #1: Your “Higher Self” implies you’re not enough. (And that’s just bullsh*t).
Spiritual coaches, gurus, and probably even the pilates mom-next-door - all love to push this concept of your higher self. Why?
Because it implies “lack”,
it implies “fixing”,
it implies there’s a problem with YOU and “THEY” have the solution that can fix it (and charge you money for it.)
There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to improve things in your life — (get healthier, be more financially stable etc). But if you tie your self-worth to whether or not you achieve these things (bonus points if you added extra pressure with a specific timeline), that can be extremely self-defeating.
You’ll say things like:
“My Higher Self should be able to do this, why can’t I?”
“I’ll never reach my full potential if I can’t get X thing.”
“If I don’t get X thing by X time, I’ve failed myself.”
It’s curated self-sabotage repackaged as “self-care.”
You need to improve (aka you’re the problem)
They have the solution (which costs $$ of course!)
You fail to meet unrealistic standards and beat yourself up over it (That’s YOUR fault, not theirs!) …. the cycle continues.
Even if you somehow manage to attain this vague ideal, guess what? She has her own version of a “Higher Self” too that she’s chasing - it never ends! 🔁 This is exactly why I teach identity-based manifestation — rooted in daily action and self-acceptance. (I break it down inside my free 7-day challenge here.)
Which leads me to my next point…
Problem #2: Even your “Higher Self” has their own set of issues.
Let’s say your “Higher Self” is super in shape, runs their own business and is married with kids … and right now? That life feels very far away.
But if you’ve convinced yourself that you will FINALLY be happy once you have those things.
You’ll feel confident, independent, supported and loved! Who wouldn’t want that?
If you could snap your fingers and suddenly become this person, you might be shocked to realize that they still have problems too, just different than the ones you have now.
Now you’re in shape: Guess what? You have to eat healthy and go to the gym/exercise now just to maintain it.
Now you own a business: Sure you have more freedom, but now you have to pay insurance on your own, deal with different types of taxes, possibly manage employees too.
Now you have a family: Those days of doing whatever you want, whenever you want are swapped for juggling kid’s schedules and time with your spouse.
I love the saying “Choose Your Hard.” Because life is full of hard decisions and circumstances.
Being overweight is hard (so is going to the the gym regularly.)
Being broke is hard (so is starting a business so you can be financially free.)
Becoming your “Higher Self” comes with it’s own set of hard… but so is staying the same.
👉 If this hit a nerve… good. That means you’re ready for a shift
This post unpacks the #1 belief keeping you fat, broke & lonely.
Problem#3: The Goal Post Always Moves.
Your Higher Self? They have a Higher Self too…
I’m sure there’s been many instances in your life where you thought - “Once I reach this goal, I’ll be satisfied.”
Whether it was getting the new car or the promotion at work, you were locked in and determined to make it happen.
Then the day came where you finally had enough saved, or your boss surprised you for all your hard work, and you were floating on Cloud 9! You did it! You were floating.
A few weeks or months go by, and the newness wears off. The car doesn’t look as bright and shiny. Your new role comes with some unexpected headaches and you were right back to where you started — looking for the next fix.
It’s human nature, the Hedonic Treadmill: the tendency for humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative life changes.
Your Higher Self is the same way. Once you achieve this next level in your evolution, a new one will appear.
That “fitness-instructor-entrepreneurial-tycoon-super-parent”, they have other goals and dreams too.
So, how do you break free from the cycle?
Focus on small, daily habits.
Because your habits become your routines.
And routines become your lifestyle.
Your current identity is a collection of thoughts, beliefs and habits that you’ve been playing out on repeat.
So change your thoughts and beliefs, and your actions will follow suit.
In fact, I created a system to do just that - it’s called my Micro-Action Method ™.
It’s the exact process I used to manifest real momentum in my life in less than 30 days.
The best part? It’s a low maintenance (even on low energy days), repeatable system that you can use time and time again… even when your goals change.
